just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
