So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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