how can u be prego again
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
