Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
