Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
