so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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