I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
