I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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