Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
