Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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