Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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