SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
