Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
only if we run a train.
done.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
