What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's blow job season.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
