I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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