you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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