If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you have feelings for this penis?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
