....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
