and i looked up. we had an audience...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
