So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
