worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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