I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
