blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
