I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
