I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
