Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
