after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
