my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize