idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
