Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
