Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
