New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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