it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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