there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
