I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize