i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Randomize
