So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
