i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
