Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
