You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
