I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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