marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize