I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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