party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
