This is not my ceiling
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
