Sponge bath it is.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
