what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
