For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
