white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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