i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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