i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
