Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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