one might say we're banned from that church
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
