Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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