would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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