Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize