We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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