Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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