We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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