How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
