i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
