theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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