she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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