she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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