ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
