Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
