Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
