You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
