'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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