the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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