Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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