am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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