I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
