He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
