Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
