So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
