i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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