this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
