reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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