so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
