I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
