you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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