I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
